THINGS TO CONSIDER FOR YOUR CHILDREN
AS A DIVORCED PARENT
r 1. Assure your children of your love and that the other parent loves them as well.
r 2. Explain to your children that the divorce is not their fault. This may need to be stated over time.
r 3. Do answer your children's questions about your divorce as truthfully as possible, without criticizing or blaming the other parent.
r 4. Encourage your children to express their feelings. This may difficult for you to experience, but it is helpful to them.
r 5. It is important for children to rely upon regularly scheduled visitation. This builds some sense of security and predictability.
r 6. Make your living arrangement comfortable for them.
r 7. Create a special place for them to have their things if you are the “visiting” parent. Having toys, clothing, a place to call their own while visiting is especially helpful.
r 8. Don't threaten to withhold child support or maintenance from the other parent if they refuse to give visitation time. The visitation is for the child, not to be used as a bargaining chip.
r 9. Do not make appointments for your child when you know they are scheduled to be with the other parent.
r 10. Do not ever miss a scheduled visit with your children.
r 11. Support and be positive about your children's relationship with the other parent.
r 12. Include the other parent in important decisions and events in your children's life. Your child will feel your cooperation with the other parent. This is a gift you can give them in a difficult situation.
r 13. Help your child “forget” about the divorce for awhile. Balance “processing” the divorce with being able to not affect them.
r 14. Don’t ever speak poorly about the other parents to your children or to anyone else in their presence.
r 15. Don't make your child the go-between messenger to carry a message to the other parent. This creates stress for them.
r 16. Do not argue or fight in front of the children.
r 17. Don't ask your children to keep secrets from the other parent.
r 18. Don't be generous or less of a disciplinarian in order to win your children’s approval.
r 19. Don't ask your children for information about the other parent.
r 20. Do not put the children in a position to choose sides.